Flounder & Fumble

What is going on? How did this happen? When did I go from a young ‘un in college to standing at the edge of becoming thirty?

Okay, first of all: I posted a video on my YouTube channel of how I styled this lilac shirt with three different colour-ways so that’s where these looks came from. I can’t go out but I can still pretend, no?

Second of all: I know I don’t look my age. I never have. I still had a sweet lady ask me which class I was in a few weeks ago and all my weary ass could say was, “I already have two Masters degrees, Aunty.” So, yeah. I got my mom’s good genes on this one, I guess.

With everything that’s going on, I’ve been really stressed out – as I’m sure so many of us are. In the beginning, with people expressing dread at having to be isolated and forced to face their inner demons, I was like, “PFFT…I have to face mine every day so this won’t be anything new.” Boy, was I dead wrong.

I think that other people with an anxiety or a panic disorder will agree that, sometimes – okay, most times, you can’t even explain what’s causing it at all. You just get this feeling that there’s something wrong and that you have to be on alert without being able to say exactly why. Over the past few weeks, I feel like all my mental health progress has regressed and it sucks ass.

Coupled with other stuff that’s happening, all I can say is that I actually look forward to having a quiet birthday at home with my siblings. We all miss our friends, partners and loved ones – I know I do. My mom is away on duty throughout this whole time and I miss her the most. She’s being strong so I’m trying to be, too.

I’m getting to that point in my life where I forget how old I actually am sometimes and so birthdays aren’t a huge deal for me. So this time around, while we’re stuck in a lockdown (that rhymed), some quality family time, good food and a movie and I’m all set for another year.