Why ‘Flounder and Fumble’?

Hello. If you’re new to my blog, welcome! Today, I just wanted to give a little context to the name of the blog, ‘Flounder and Fumble’.

I’ve always been what one may call a “lazy perfectionist”. It’s always meant that if I’m not already good at something, it makes me highly uncomfortable to participate. This included starting a blog.

I’m a Media graduate and most people always assume that automatically my photography and videography skills are “on point”. They are not. I’m not bad at photography, but I’m no visionary.

I didn’t want to go ahead and start my blog because the comparison and the fear of making mistakes just didn’t sit well with me. Making mistakes in general unsettles me so much.

Ugh, the amount of stress I put myself through over every little thing…no wonder I suffer from anxiety and a panic disorder. I still don’t have a handle on any of it. Even the expectation of myself to be more zen stresses me out.

I have no clue where my need to have things around me in control comes from. I have to stop putting so much pressure on myself though; let myself make mistakes and learn from them instead of letting the fear of them keep me from starting anything worthwhile and never growing. And that is where ‘Flounder and Fumble’ came from.

By definition, to flounder and to fumble means to mess up, to be clumsy and confused. I suppose to create a blog with those two words is kind of a way to give myself permission to experiment more, to make more mistakes and not beat myself up about it all.

I’m not saying that, that niggling feeling when I do stumble will now automatically go away. I’m still my own worse critic. No matter what criticism comes my way, trust me, I’ve already beaten myself up about it and continue to do so. I just get so angry with myself, it’s exhausting.

I don’t have the answers as to how to deal with that yet, but I hope that with time, I can learn to let myself be alright with not having things “perfect”.

Man Repeller recently had a whole month dedicated to ‘Mistakes’. I’ll take my leave by sharing with you two posts that resonated with me:

Is This Headline My Latest Mistake?

“Why can’t thoughtfulness and an earnest desire to do the right thing pay off in the form of mistake-free living? Why must we evolve only by way of our own stupidity? How deeply disappointing.”

Low Stakes Hot Take: “Learning From Your Mistakes” Is Overrated

“There’s value in wanting to improve after making a mistake, but there’s a danger, too. It introduces the pressure of optimization in every aspect of your life, in every detail no matter how small. Of always taking two steps forward after one step back.”

Thank you for dropping by!

"You Should Smile More."

As someone who has, what pop culture has diagnosed as, a ‘Resting Bitch Face’, or RBF, nothing irks me more than when someone comes up to me and tells me that I should smile more. Go ahead, say or just look at the world “smile” long enough and it stops making sense – just like when you begin to realize how ridiculous it is when one human asks another to forcefully put on a facial expression because, apparently, they can’t stand how you outwardly look right then. It’s selfish and completely ridiculous and I’ll never be able to wrap my head around it.

Me on the outside.
Me on the inside, remembering a meme I came across that morning.

More importantly, you never know what someone is going through. We all go through rough times at different points in our lives, and sometimes, those rough patches stretch out for longer than we’d like. We’re trying to figure things out, picking ourselves up, going about our day-to-day lives and then some nimrod comes up to us and says, “Hey, come on! SMiiiiLLlle!!!” For heaven’s sake, do they want a second coming of the Joker?

Other times, when I look like I’m down… THAT’S JUST MY FREAKIN’ FACE, what can I say? Except, I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: Stanley from ‘The Office’ is my forever mood. We’re easily annoyed, not amused and we like our privacy but we’re happy in our own bubble. So, the next time someone comes up to me and goes, “AIME! CoMe OnnNN….SMMiIiiiiLlLLe!!!” and I say ‘no’ and they still insist, I’m just going to have to fly off the handle and say:

Either this…
…or this.

Or, you know, quote Rene Paulson, who wrote about RBF, and say, “…obviously, women (and men for that matter) shouldn’t have to smile for the benefit of others.” Yeah, that’s probably the more mature thing to do.

Styling My Boyfriend’s Varsity Jacket 3 Ways

It was cold, I didn’t have enough outerwear and I became the cliché of a woman having to take her boyfriend’s jacket because my teeth were chattering. But I really was cold, okay? It wasn’t a move.

The only move I made afterwards was to hijack his jacket and style it three ways. Why? Because as someone once said to me, “It is of the because.” A good reason as any, if I do say so myself. So here are three looks styled using my boyfriend’s jacket with links to whatever items I could find in the captions.

No, he didn’t know I was going to do this when he handed the jacket to me. Surprise!

Look #1

With Look #1, I was inspired by the show ‘Derry Girls’ and their uniforms; although of course I’ve kinda fancied it up a bit. I don’t have any checkered skirts anymore so the frilly one will have to do.

Jacket – Campus Sutra via Myntra.com
Shirt – Vero Moda
Skirt – Honey by Pantaloons
Shoes – Old

Look #2

I was kinda going for a ‘Gossip Girl’ look with Look #2. Preppy but high school, if you catch my drift. The headband especially makes me feel that one step closer to Blair Waldorf.

Jacket – Campus Sutra via Myntra.com
Top – Forever 21
Skirt – Forever 21
Heels – Get Glamr via Myntra.com

Look #3

Helen Anderson is one of my favourite British bloggers/YouTubers and she has this very rock & roll aesthetic that inspired Look #3. She’s a total badass and I don’t think I’ll ever be able to exactly replicate her, so I’ll have to settle for being a half-badass.

Jacket – Campus Sutra via Myntra.com
T-shirt – Zara
Skirt – Besiva via Myntra.com
Boots – H&M

Well, this has been quite a different styling challenge for me but I hope you enjoyed it. Thank you for reading!