It can be pretty rewarding living in a household with multiple brothers and sisters. The play time, the talks, the company, the learning exchange, and even the childish quarrels can be very gratifying and is befitting as a child. The one thing I really favored most as a young person was receiving second-hand belongings from my older sisters. I enjoyed it because honestly, I admired my sisters. I always wanted to be just like them. They seemed to have it together. They all had jobs, husbands, children, cars, homes, etc. From my small observation of their lives, they were extremely happy. So, because I admired them, and they appeared to be very well-off and contented, I wanted to be just like them. Thus, when they gave me anything from clothing and shoes to hair brushes and hairpins, in spite of what it was, what it looked like, whether it was too big or too small, كورة لايف it was wholly received and appreciated and deemed to be of great value to me because it belonged to them. Now, though I was a kid at the time, I valued what my sisters had. That was partially due to the fact that i had nothing of my own that i perceived valuable. I had no life, other than what was handed to me. I regarded my life to be nothing-no dreams, aspirations, plans or purpose. All I had to cling to was someone else’s. Thus, theirs looked better, and because it looked good on them, I thought it would look just as nice on me.
A hand-me-down life refers to forming and fashioning your life to mimic someone else’s. It conveys living a life that has been handed down from others for whatever reason. As it relates to things such as clothing or shoes, people tend to hand down items that no longer fit them or that has become outdated. It happens the same way in life. If you’re young and immature with no business of your own to nurture, you’ll find yourself clinging to those who do have it, and thus, become privy to doing what they do-even if it’s not you.
Many attribute their norms to the way they were raised. They often use this as justification to remain confined to certain behaviors. There are individuals who are currently limited in certain areas of life because their living is based on upbringing, the life that was handed them by parents or other authoritative figures. People exhibit certain habits, culture, customs and habit-forming deeds either by birth or are transferred to them through lifestyles and close-knit circles of people with whom they interact. Now understand that this is not meant to demote any good wholesome childhood teachings and practices instilled to foster optimistic personality qualities such as love and compassion. The objective of this entire focus centers entirely on growth, maturity, and exposure to new and improved customs and cultures. Life is designed to take the basic principles of what was learned as a child and form our lives based on who we are, where we’re going, and the distinct plan and purpose for our individuality.
Fashion your life with things that fit you as an adult, things that work for you now as compared to what worked yesterday. Our growth, our appetite for new, different, and better things is largely accredited to being introduced to new and better things. As i allude to this, I think of the Beverly Hillbillies. Predominately, born and raised in the hills, they knew no other way of living. It resulted in their children growing up the same way, and their children, and so on. My point is that they lived their entire lives with a hillbilly mentality, being handed down from one generation to another. Now as long as they were in the hills, their mindset worked well-the way they lived their lives became them. However, introduction to newness–other customs and sophistications such as the high-end culture of Beverly Hills, California necessitated change. Life in Beverly Hills influenced them to undergo the process of establishing some new norms. Much like life, we all grew up under the authority and guardianship of our parents. Whether it was from a very humble beginning or a fairly well-to-do start, clearly we had no control or say-so over any aspect of our lives. However, as we grew and embraced education, various people, places, and things, we developed and became who we are. Our life’s choices are no longer left up to those who reared us. We must assume responsibility for the choices we’ve made to become who we are. With that being said, if, for some reason, you’re not happy with whom you’ve become, you are graced with the power and authority to change it. Remember, the surroundings we are exposed to-people, places, and things, play a major role in who we ultimately become. That’s why it is vital that we choose and categorize our circles wisely. Remember, “Birds of a feather flock together. ” This is so true on so many levels.
As i grew up, life and changes compelled me to steer away from striving to be like my siblings. I didn’t know where it came from or when it started to occur, but as i graduated to young adulthood, I began seeing myself suited in black corporate attire, carrying a briefcase, accompanied by an entourage of other business associates, managing my business. Understand that I’m still living in the same circle with the same people in the same neighborhood. Nothing’s changed, except my appetite for a different life. My hunger for something different soon inspired me to move in a totally different direction. Again, this is not intended to downplay any childhood rearing, for I believe my parents did a great job of preparing me for life. This is to highlight your understanding of realizing that at some point in your life, like your parents and other authoritative figures in your life, you’ll have to find what works for you. It’s about discovering your uniqueness, and working it.
Now, understand this may not set well with parents who are very adamant about their sons and daughters following a certain path. Oftentimes, parents pride themselves on you raising your children the way they reared you. They steer you to become doctors and lawyers because that’s what they did. They often want you to manage your family the way they managed theirs. The real fact of the matter is that the way mom did it was OK for her and her day. You are not your mother, and your children are not you. You have to do you the way you were designed to do it. As lovely of a gesture it is to be like mom and dad, you can’t live a life that’s been drawn out and planned for you by them, and expect to achieve optimal results. You must live a life that is exceptional, fresh, unique, and authentic and designed especially for you. Remember, many people may be able to achieve the same results as you, but no one can do it quite like you.
The old life became stifling and too confining for what was inside me. I knew then i had outgrown a life that was no longer befitting for me. There are certain dreams and plans we may have had at certain points and places in our lives that don’t fit where we are today. Struggles in your life now may very well be due to trying to fit and function in a life that’s not yours. Maybe some of you can relate. As an adult, do you have a habit of talking to others about important decisions that has to be made, and they often respond by saying things like “if I were you, I would… ” and because they are someone you admire, for whatever reason, you always go along with their advice? Are you the type that always needs consensus from others before you decide to do a thing? Do you need to consent with others on every decision you make? Maybe you’re the one that have a habit of admiring the lives of others over your own? Does anyone or everyone else’s lives look better than yours? If the answer to any of these questions is yes, then you may be one of those who are stuck living a hand-me-down life, always doing what pleases others rather than yourself. You’re at risk of taking someone else’s life and making it your own. Then again, maybe you’re connected to someone who’s inadvertently demanding about you being like them; thinking like them, and liking what they like. These types of friends will frown on you for doing anything outside of their box. They’ve handed you their life and expects you to adhere to it to validate the friendship. Can you relate?
The key to wearing life that fits you is paying attention to your individuality. If you don’t recognize the value of your own life; if you don’t regard your life as special and unique, you’ll end up cleaving and clinging to someone else’s. We were created with a specific distinctiveness in the mind of God. Everything and everyone does not fit us or our purpose. At the beginning of our lives, we put on whatever life handed us to wear. Our environment and parental guides were in control then. However, at some point, as life really kicks in, so will opportunities to make choices that will align you with the original purpose and plan designed for you.